I’d Hit That: Batman vs. Superman

After watching Batman Begins on AMC, naturally, I asked myself the question: who would I want to be with, Batman or Superman? After much research, I compiled a list of pros and cons for each superhero. Enjoy!

Batman:

Pros:	Cons:
He’s very dedicated. In order to be Batman, one must go through an intensive exercise regimen. I try to go to the gym four times a week and that rarely happens. I wish I had his dedication.	He’ll never have time for you. Between running a multibillion dollar and fighting crime, how often do you really think you’d see him?
He’s the ultimate sugar daddy. Bruce Wayne owns everything in Gotham, and if you lived there, he’d probably own you too. I can’t think of anything hotter than all that power.	He doesn’t seem to have a sense of humor. In all the Batman cartoons and movies I have seen, he rarely cracks a joke or smiles. I think a sense of humor is one of the most attractive things on a guy, and therefore, his lack of one depresses me.
He’s really smart. I love an intellectual guy and Batman definitely is one. He can fix one of his gadgets as well as track down gang members and get information out of him. All I know is that he’s all kinds of smarts. Me like!	Bruce Wayne seems like a player. Face it; he’s the riches and most good looking guy in Gotham. All the girls want him and that means lots of competition. Eh, I don’t know how I feel about that.
He’s extremely good looking. He’s tall, athletic, and handsome. He’s attractive, enough said.	He’s definitely kind of gay – I think. We all know that he and Robin are partners. The question is: what kind of “partners” are they? I don’t have time to be his beard.
His parents died when he was young. Batman definitely gets the sympathy vote with the story of how his parents died. Who wouldn’t want to take care of him after hearing that?
He’s got a pimpin’ ride. Batman has the batmobile, a bat plane, and a bat motorcycle.
He’s brimming with confidence. Confidence is nice, maybe it’ll rub off on me.
He’s Batman. What’s more awesome than that?

Superman:

Pros:	Cons:
He represents the all American boy. If you don’t like him, then that makes you unpatriotic and then the Patriotic Militia will go after you. A vote against superman is a vote for the terrorists.	Clark Kent does not seem to be too confident. He lets others push him around at his job at The Daily Planet. Big turn off.
He’s a farmer boy. After reading all the Laura Ingalls Wilder books, I have concluded that farmers are cool. So logically, Superman=farmer’s son=cool.	Superman=super dick? If superman is really superior to all human men, than does that mean his dick is? I don’t know if this is a pro or a con, but I’m putting this as a con because sex injuries are not fun. I wouldn’t like my pelvis to hurt the next day.
He can fly. Being able to fly is sweet. Just think of all the money you would be saving on air travel.	He acts like a wuss when he’s around Kryptonite. Ladies don’t like to see their man being a coward. So, suck it up, Superman!
He has the Last of the Mohican’s effect. Superman is the last known example of his species. Could his sympathy vote be bigger than Batman’s?

My conclusion: Batman. Batman wins in a landslide for me. I love Batman’s bad ass attitude, dark look, and overall persona better than Superman’s. What can I say, this ho does not want to be superman-ed.